What if everything you thought was solid – your marriage, your job, your entire sense of identity just disappeared?
Of course, it would affect your confidence. And starting over at 50 can feel like someone shook the snow globe of your life and just… walked away. Now what?
If you’re feeling lost, invisible, or unsure of how to rebuild confidence, I need you to hear this. You are not done. You are not over the hill. You are just getting started. And I want to share a story that proves exactly that.
A conversation that changed everything
I was in a makeup shop recently, doing what I do best – swatching eyeshadows like my life depended on it when a woman standing next to me complimented my makeup, and we chatted.
She told me she was 54 years old and had just come out of a brutal six-year divorce battle. Her ex was controlling, narcissistic, and had left her feeling drained and defeated. She pulled me aside and admitted something that broke my heart:
“I feel like I have nothing left. I don’t know how to start again. My life has come to a full stop.”
I could see what she really needed. Reassurance. She needed to know she still had a future. That she wasn’t invisible. That she wasn’t done or alone.
So, naturally, I went into full-on coaching mode – right there while the sales team gave us that look. She left about 15 minutes later, a new eyeshadow in one hand and my card in the other. I felt for her.
But she’s not alone, is she? So many women (young and old) can lose their confidence, self-esteem, and sense of identity when things knock them for six.
If this is you right now, help is at hand.
Five ways to rebuild confidence after 50
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It’s OK to grieve, but don’t unpack and live there
Life can be brutal, and when you’re hit with a significant change – divorce, job loss, empty nest it’s okay to grieve. Cry, scream, eat an entire chocolate bar (or in my case, a whole bag of nuts). Whatever it takes.
But at some point, you have to decide – will I let this define me, or will I jump feet first into my next chapter?
You may not believe it right now, but you are stronger than you think. Yes, it might have waned a little, and it probably won’t return all at once. Instead, it builds steadily in those tiny moments when you bravely decide to keep moving forward. Watch for it. Feel it. Celebrate it.
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Confidence starts with small acts of self-expression
This woman had stopped wearing makeup because she thought it wasn’t for women her age.
Excuse me? Who made that rule?!
Makeup isn’t about looking younger. It’s about feeling like yourself. If a red lipstick makes you feel powerful, wear it. If a sparkly eyeshadow brings you joy, own it. Don’t let anyone (including your internal voice) knock you off course.
Confidence is about reclaiming the things that make you feel alive.
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Change the story you tell yourself
She kept saying, “I’m too old to start over.”
I asked her, “Who gave you that script? Fire them immediately.”
If you keep telling yourself, “It’s too late, I can’t do this,” your brain will believe you. But what if you flipped the script?
Instead of saying “It’s too late,” ask yourself: “What do I want next?”
Because here’s the truth: You are the one to decide where your story goes.
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Find your hype squad
You need people who see you, who remind you that you are not invisible, that you are fabulous. If the people in your life make you feel small, it’s time to find new people.
I don’t care if it’s a Facebook group, a friend from yoga, or that fabulous woman you met in a makeup shop – find your tribe. Surround yourself with those who lift you.
And those who drain your energy? Bye. Time to let them go.
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Try something new – even if it’s teeny-tiny
Confidence comes from engaging with life, and if you’re being a shrinking violet right now, it’s time to shake your petals.
Try something. Even something ridiculous. A dance class. A totally unnecessary but fabulous hat. A creative hobby. A solo coffee date. Walking barefoot through the park.
The goal isn’t to be perfect at whatever it is you try. It’s to remind yourself that you’re still growing.
You are NOT done. You are NOT invisible. You are NOT alone.
If you needed this reminder today, I want you to take action now. Comment below and tell me one thing you’re going to do this week to remind yourself that you’re still here, alive, and kicking.