Loneliness is a topic that often flies under the radar but is incredibly important, especially for people over 50 and women in particular. Unfortunately, loneliness in our age group has been on the rise in recent years, and it poses significant risks to our physical and mental health.
The prevalence of loneliness
Did you know that approximately 37% of women aged 50-64 report feeling socially isolated? This number is slightly higher than that of men in the same age group. Loneliness among older adults has been recognised as a public health crisis with profound health implications.
What health implications?
Loneliness isn’t a feeling we can simply snap out of, and the answer is very definitely not to ‘pull yourself together’.
It’s become such a big issue and is now linked to several severe health conditions:
It increases the risk of heart disease by 29%.
It raises the risk of a stroke by 32%.
Loneliness heightens the risk of developing dementia by a staggering 50%.
Additionally, loneliness is associated with weaker immune systems, higher blood pressure, and worse outcomes for chronic illnesses. On the mental health side, it doubles the risk of developing depression and anxiety. Loneliness has even been compared to smoking, obesity, and lack of exercise in terms of its impact on premature death.
My personal story
Having moved around a lot in my life, I’ve experienced first-hand the challenges of building and maintaining social connections. New jobs and new towns find us starting over to build new social circles while we try to maintain the existing friendships from our previous lives. As our kids grow up and leave home, we don’t have the social networks that we used to build outside the school gates to rely on. Many women lose confidence as they get older, which makes it harder for them to make new friends. But we can try new things and hope to find long-term social satisfaction. Of course, this is not simple, but it’s not impossible either.
Steps to combat loneliness
As an accredited coach, I spend a lot of time helping women work on their mindset. Here are some steps to help you tackle loneliness head-on:
- Accept your feelings without judgement. Understand that loneliness is a common human experience, and feeling this way is okay. However, don’t dismiss its seriousness.
- Start small by setting achievable goals:
- Call a friend once a week (or even better, use video apps like WhatsApp, Facetime and Zoom)
- Attend an event in your local community – even if you’re not sure it is for you.
- Get involved in your local social media groups and organise things yourself. Book groups are popular—it might take some effort, but you’ll find a network of others who feel as lonely as you.
- Make a point of getting to know the neighbours. We moved to a new estate a few years ago where nobody knew anyone. Making the first move is not always easy, but it’s almost always worth it.
- Gradually increase your social activities as you become more comfortable.
- Recognise your past strengths and experiences and engage in activities you enjoy and are good at to boost your self-esteem.
- Seek help by joining support groups. This can also be empowering and help you make new friends. Talking to a therapist or coach can help you understand potential strategies for change and support.
- Regular gentle exercise (even just a walk where you interact and say ‘hello’ to random people you meet can make a huge difference), sufficient sleep, a healthy diet, and overall physical health are crucial. These can significantly impact your mental well-being and confidence. Self-care is always important, so find time for it.
- Challenge negative thoughts by keeping a gratitude journal to focus on the good aspects of your life and review it regularly or when your confidence wanes.
- Step out of your comfort zone by taking small social risks, like joining a book club or attending a local coffee meetup. Enjoy how the anxiety disappears almost immediately when you enter the room. Embrace discomfort as a part of growth.
- Seek out people who have overcome loneliness and draw inspiration from their stories. Books, videos, and local support groups can provide practical advice and encouragement.
The Consequences of not tackling loneliness
Ignoring loneliness can lead to a downward spiral. You become too comfortable with your own company and stop seeing isolation as a problem. You avoid social interactions, cancel plans, and retreat further into your home, losing confidence along the way. Recognisng these patterns and taking action to prevent them from becoming entrenched is crucial.
Conclusion
Overcoming loneliness is a journey, and each small step can significantly improve your life. It might not always feel like it, but we all have the strength and ability to build a more connected and fulfilling life. We did it without thinking when we were younger, and the things that make it more challenging with age are never impossible to change. Mostly, an irrational fear of saying or doing the wrong thing stops us from moving forward.
Integrating these steps into your daily life allows you to move away from loneliness and towards a more connected, fulfilling existence. Remember, you’re not alone in this, and there’s a community out there ready to support you. Go find it.
Feel free to share your thoughts or any tips in the comments below. Let’s support each other on this journey towards connection and well-being.