Seven years. Seven years! That’s how long it’s taken me to press the ‘go live’ button on my Still Sassy website.
It all started in October 2014 when I was off work having had a hysterectomy – forced upon me due to having a uterus full of painful fibroids. After a complete hysterectomy, along comes the menopause whether you are ready for it or not or even old enough for it. It’s almost instant and HRT has been my friend ever since.
In the six weeks of recovery time and being bored out of my head, I discovered there was a whole world of beauty and skincare over on YouTube that I had no idea existed. Within just a few days I was hooked. Beauty and skincare are my thing so this was simply a dream find.
It was different back then though. Only a handful of channels and most of those belonged to young makeup artists. But I didn’t care, they were talking about my passion day in and day out, there was nothing not to like.
Being a journalist and creative, it wasn’t long before I was pondering on a way to get involved. I was already an older woman back then and after a good search around, could see that there was a massive gap on YouTube – very little beauty advice for people in my age range and beyond. Instead, I and I guess many others was adapting the info I watched to suit my own, more mature needs.
In that short period of time, the idea for Still Sassy was born and I’ve been planning, plotting and talking about it ever since. My poor husband must have got mightily sick of it very early on. But here we are all these years later and I’ve only just found the courage to actually do this thing. Well, not only just found, I’ve been working at every day and the cumulation of all my efforts has led me here.
It’s a shame it’s taken so long, because I’ve missed the opportunity to help many women (although I aim to put that right) and, of course, the biggest disappointment is that there are many more people doing this work now, so the competition is out there. But no-one is doing what I’ve got planned, so I have big hopes.
What was the problem?
Easy – imposter syndrome. Even though I have a massive amount of experience in all sorts of areas, including having had some high-flying jobs, I just couldn’t get my head around why anyone would listen to me on the topic of beauty, skincare and getting older as a woman.
Everyone else was much better at it. They have more experience, more confidence, are natural on camera, are more beautiful than me (shallow) and more eloquent. They are funnier, have more to say. Blah, blah, blah.
None of this is true of course, but it’s how I felt. And it’s taken until now to push through this and, well, quite frankly, get my head in the right place.
What changed? Well, a lot.
I have had life coaching, trained as a life coach, created my own successful business (away from the beauty stuff), created and maintained a ‘big me up book’ (more on that in a different blog) and, in a bid to feel more confidence about the Still Sassy stuff, trained to be a makeup artist specialising in women over 45.
That’s really the tip of the iceberg though and I made it sound easy in that one short paragraph. It’s taken work, and lots of it. Self-development galore, many chats with supportive friends and family, practicing my videoing skills over and over and gradually increasing my confidence bit by bit.
It feels a bit crazy writing all this. Outside the world of blogging and social media I’ve always worn what I wanted to, including ball gowns to the local pub. I’ve carried on wearing glitter even though I’m well past the age where people say I should stop. I ride a motorbike, snowboard and have an ambition to walk to Everest base camp.
But when it comes to getting visible online, that was tougher. It might have taken seven years, but starting this blog is the end point. No, I am not completely over imposter syndrome, but I am determined not to let it hold me back. Leave it much longer and I’ll be past the point of no return and Still Sassy will always be an idea I once had.
So, I’m turning the lights on. I am here.